I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize