I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
