Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
