you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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