On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Someone shit on the floor
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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