I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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