After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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