Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
