What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
