wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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