Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
