Soap is not a condiment
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
