I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
