I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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