He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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