Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You're like the curious george of whores
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
