Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
