so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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