why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize