I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
