oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
