Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
