she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
