I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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