Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
