You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize