i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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