Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
