i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Enjoy the penises
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
