Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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