At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
