please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
