Got a toothbrush?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize