During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
