had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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