R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
