So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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