youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
