So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
