and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
