What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
