Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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