Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
