Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
