i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
