i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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