Define "chronic" masturbator.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
