I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
