I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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