I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
