The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize