Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
