3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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