He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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