I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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