Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
