Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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