I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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