Christians are straight up FREAKS
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
