Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize