You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
