I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
