THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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