i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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