They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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