in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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