I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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