I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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