Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
