It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
