good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
