I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
