my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
