Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
