atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
