everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
