I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
