Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
