# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
