id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
