Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
