4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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